Change

So I started reading "I really want to change...so help me God" by Pastor James McDonald. I have 3 very specific areas in my life that I need some drastic change and everything that I have done in the past has not worked, so no sense to keep on trying the same old thing. Anyway, in the book Pastor James has a study section at the end of each chapter, so I answered the questions (seriously even with some thought), then the next step is kinda like a put it in practice type of thing and he suggested telling a friend that I am reading this book on change and asking for prayer. So I don't know how many people actually read this thing, but whoever does, I am asking for your prayers in my hunt for change.
I have always been a very independant self-sufficient person and to realize that I am powerless over my iniquities has been a huge bite of humble pie. I am having a hard time swallowing this idea that I cannot do this "all by myself". I think I have been saying that phrase since I could talk and now I am realizing that there is no truth to that statement. I have to rely on God in order to make this change.
Something else that really struck me when reading this book was the difference between change and reformation. Reformation is growing on what good is already there. I mean don't get me wrong I think reformation is a good thing and there are things in my life that I want to reform as well. But Pastor James made it clear to me that change is BAM!!! all of a sudden and unfortunately there are things that I just need to BAM!!! change in my life. I know this is what I need to do and I want to do this so I can have a better relationship with God. Sometimes I get so frustrated with the fact that He created us with free will-I mean what a glorious day when it will just come natural to me worship, honor, glorify, and praise my Maker in all that I do. But until I can do that, God has to mold me, dry me out, put me in the furnace, paint me, and put me in the furnace again before I can be who He wants me to be. Sorry if that analogy confused anybody, but an email from long ago came to mind when I was typing...the one about the teacup and the potter. Anyway, if you ever get that email or would like me to try to explain the story I could but right now I need to get to bed...so thanks for listening. And thank you in advance for any prayers you can say for me.