King Solomon

The other night I opened up my Bible for the first time in a while. It's sad but true. I just said whatever book I open up to I'm going to start reading. I had been trying to get through all the Psalms, not really what I needed. So I opened it up to Ecclesiates. Man it got my attention from the get go. Solomon writes about his life and how he has finally discovered that life apart from God is hollow, empty, and meaningless. A while back I wrote a blog titled the Hollow. It seemed to be consuming me and I could find no other word to describe it but hollow. I felt empty inside, nothing could liven my spirit. Well hello now I know why. I was trying to do it all on my own. I was not seeking God's words or wisdom or truth. I have made it through chapter 5 and I want to finish because it's like when I read a good book and can't wait to get to the end to see if good finally prevails. I know that it does otherwise God would not have put it in his Word. Solomon was a great man that asked God for wisdom. He got all he could ask for. He was a wealthy powerful ruler of the greatest land of his time. He had all this and he still felt hollow and empty inside. It makes me think. Solomon wrote that all the wisdom does not make you feel better because then you see and know all the things that can be, but it is not happening. He wrote about having all the money and beautiful things in life but it meant nothing because it did not fulfill him. I don't have all the wisdom, and I for sure don't have all the money. So it would make sense that my life should be simpler. I try to make things so much more complicated than they really are. I am a firm believer in the fact that life is a series of choices. Each choice has a consequence. So why do I think that it is so hard to make the right choices. I know the consequences I want to have and the choices I need to make to get those consequences. But still I don't choose them. It is all a conscious effort, that I was letting pass me by because I thought it was too hard. That's all been thrown out the window now because I will choose to pay more attention to the choices I make. I want my room in the mansion of Heaven and my crown of jewels and to dance in my maker's glory for eternity. I want to meet all the souls in Heaven and learn their experiences and read their life stories. I want my Father to wipe away my tears for the souls that will not meet me there. I want to crawl on His lap and have Him rock me to sleep at night. I want to walk through the perfect garden and have no temptations. I want to ask God all the questions that perplex me so much...like did Adam and Eve have belly buttons, what is the purpose of slugs, did the chicken or egg come first. This may not be how it really happens, but I would like to think so. God's not going to spend eternity ignoring and not delighting in His children that chose Him.

what's up

So I'll just update and let everyone know what's up. I don't know about anyone else but I remember when I was younger and I would do something wrong, I would always stay away from my mother. Even when I moved out, and I would be doing something I knew she wouldn't approve of, I just wouldn't call her for weeks at a time. I bring this up because I have stayed away from here and from God for a long time because I have not been living a Christ like life. I know we all stumble and we all still fall short of God's glory, but man I was making deliberate decisions to take the other path. The problem with this is when I go the other way, I don't talk to God, I don't want to be around Him. Then things start falling apart, bickering in my house, funds start being a problem, I mean everything is affected. Fortunately I know where to turn and I'm getting less stubborn about turning there when I need to. This past Sunday morning we had all slept in till about 8:45. I got up and looked at Caleb and said, "So I guess we're going to the 11:00 service." He grumbled and mumbled for about 10 minutes. Then he came around to the kitchen put his arms around me and said, "Thank you for making us go to church." Now he didn't mean that I was forcing them, he was saying thank you for holding him accountable. That day we had the best day together as a family. We went out to eat, took naps, and did some yard work. It was an excellent day.
On a different note ZJ has been dry for 3 days, working on day 4. We will be done with pullups comepletely by the year's end. (She still has to wear them to sleep.)
Another different note, anybody reading this in the same area as me, my mom and I are wanting to do a biggest loser contest. Start up is $10, then a dollar for every pound gained. Weigh ins weekly, probably last 8 weeks or until you reach your goal weight. Anyone interested just let me know.