I think this just needs to be on here

This video caught my breath and so represents my life and I'm sure most of yours...just listen to the crowd at the end! Wow how amazing! This is why I think dance is such an important part of ministry, how touching it can be for some people. I just want everyone to see this video, I can't even explain how I am feeling right now...the emotions are just overflowing. The hairs on my arms are standing up and I've got goose pimples, tears in my eyes and everything.

A whole lot new

Well a lot has happened this last week. A week ago this past Friday, I got a job! I am a teacher's aide in the LD classroom at Northwest school here in town. My job is good, but I do miss being at home with my babies, especially since it is so hot in the school! I help the teacher assist the children with their classroom activities and with group activites, and I get to be a lunchroom and recess monitor. I do enjoy seeing the children adapt to the newness of me. Some have already grown attached and I get my daily fill of hugs at school, and others have quit growling at me!
Zoey turned 1 this past week! We had a party with cake and ice cream and lots of family here at the house for her. She has already grown tired of her new toys and is back to playing with the tupperware! What are you gonna do though?
This morning at church inspired me in a different way than usual. The worship was amazing. I loved the songs and could just feel the Spirit moving me. Then Ron preached a very familiar passage. You know the one about the armor of God in Ephesians 6. Now I probably know this passage better than any other in the Bible, but today it just struck me in a different way. We all know about the helmet of Salvation and how we put it on, but when Ron suggested that we put it on as knowledge that we are already saved it is also a weapon against Satan. We tell Satan that no matter what he does, we are already saved. And the breastplate of righteousness-ah yes never turn your back for it is not covered-but wait that is just not true either. I don't know I always used to just think that this armor was little and the only offensive weapon we have against Satan is the Bible. But each piece wounds Satan when we boldly wear it. And together with the sword, Satan does not stand a chance. I want to remember each day to carefully put on my armor so that when Satan attacks (and he will) he cannot destroy me! He may be able to hurt me but never will he destroy me for I fight for the winning team.

i love my family

I just want to clarify something from my blog the other day. I do not think my family are bad people. Some of them just do certain things that are not good for me and I am not yet strong enough to be around certain things and not participate. I do not necessarily think these things are bad in and of themselves, I just cannot control myself which leads to sin, so therefore until I become stronger I cannot be around "stuff". I am talking about being able to stand up for myself and what I believe in no matter where or who the pressure comes from. I don't think that my loved ones put pressure on me, but I feel pressured to live the way I used to because that's just how it's been for so long. And right now I am trying to become a new person with a new outlook on life and am trying not to go back to my old ways. I did not mean to hurt anyone's feelings or try to blame others for my own past bad decisions...I just often have a difficult time getting things out the way they are in my own head.

Just an Update

I haven't written in a while and just thought I would give everyone an update...
Thursday I took Sesleigh to the doctor for her physical for school, the doctor was pretty impressed with how much she knew...she's just like a sponge and soaks up any and all information she comes across. This is a great thing but I have to be diligent in filtering what she takes in-sometimes loved ones are there and willing to try to help to teach but it's hard when they don't have the same values as we do in this house. My mom taught her something about the current president and while it may have some truth to it, it was presented in a disrespectful way, and I was unhappy with what my soon-to-be five-year-old recited to me so proudly. But that's neither here nor there. I also asked the doctor to look at Sassy's hammer toes and see if there was something we could do about those-they are so bad and her toes curl under each other so badly her toenails are cutting into the ones they are underneath of. Doctor said we could send her to a specialist but then she noticed something else of greater concern...Sesleigh's right leg is 1/2 inch longer than her left, and if she continues to grow with nothing being done about it her spine will start to curve to compensate and present a whole other plethera of problems. The doctor believes this is from when she broke her leg 2 years ago, she thinks that when it healed her body produced more "stuff" in her bone making it longer. So we have to go back to Sesleigh's pediactric orthopedic surgeon to see what the next step is to correct this problem. And while I'm there I can ask about her toes!
We just got back from our annual family reunion. Once a year my Mom's side of the family camps one weekend and we all eat and get together and look at old pictures and take new ones. I love my family but today as I sit back and reflect I am saddened. I have been on a rough long journey these past two years to renew my faith and live a Christian life style to ensure my place in Heaven. I am sad to say that I will have to do this without the involvement of some of my very beloved family members. I have always been close with my mom and her brothers and my cousins, but I think I want to change my family tree so I can see my children in Heaven and make sure they understand what God did for them and what they can do in return. I think that it was in Luke when Jesus said that to be His disciple you may have to sacrifice relationships of loved ones to do that. I am not saying that I will not see these people after this life because only God can judge them, but right now I cannot spend time with them without falling back into old ways and it breaks my heart. But even as I sit here typing this with tears in my eyes and realizing how broken I really am, I know that something has got to give. The Lord has not placed this guilt and longing on my soul for no reason, so I must heed His call and just become new without all this step by step stuff. I think I am gonna have to be like Nike and "just do it"! All at once, all or nothing, dive right in and just revel in the rewards I will reap for it and not count my losses for it.
Well thanks for all who read this and let me just ramble for so long, I appreciate it.