Cherish

This is late I know but I wanted to put up a picture of Christmas time at our house. I'm sure this isn't the best one but I think that the tree all lit up with the girls in red in front of it is fabulous. Christmas at our house is evolving so much yet remains so much the same. This year we went to dinner at my mom's house for Christmas Eve, this is a new tradition that started last year. The girls got some great things. Jade got her pair of red shoes she's been asking for for about 3 years. Sesleigh got the High School Musical 2 dvd which has been played nonstop since. And Zoey got plenty of toys that sit in the toybox as she continues to play with the tupperware on the microwave stand! Then when we got home the Christmas Eve Elf had made his annual visit. He usually brings pj's that we can wear on Christmas morning to open presents. Then on Christmas morning Santa brought Zoey a rocking horse that she likes to play rough with...hehehe...she fell off every time she rode it that day. Sassy got Bratz dolls, and Jade got an MP3 player. Then Caleb and I had given them jewelry from Lia Sophia and Zoey got a new winter coat. Caleb and I didn't give gifts to each other this year, but Santa did fill our stockings and that was a blessing enough. After we all got ready we went to my grandparents for brunch. It is the only time of the year when I get to see my grandma's side of the family (except for the occasional Walmart outing) plus the food is terrific. Then we came home and I took a nap, because I wasn't feeling too well. Then about 2:30 we left for Rushville to see Caleb's grandma. She spent her Christmas in the nursing home because she hasn't been feeling well enough to go out. We wanted to take the girls so they could have memories of her at special times. Caleb and his dad do not think Grandma Maxine will make it another 6 months. Kinda sad, but what a relief for a woman who has spent a lifetime taking care of everyone else. Now she can go home and live in her father's glory with no pain and no worry.
Anyway, I have a feeling this will be a long blog since I haven't posted in a while. Yesterday I was sitting in my nice clean house while Caleb and Jade were still asleep, no it was 2 days ago. Zoey and Sassy were playing in Sassy's room watching HSM2 (imagine that). I was just sitting there listening to them and cherishing all the joys God has granted me. Their laughter and squeals of joy just consumed me and made me about well up with tears (I did say about). Then I just sat there thinking about God's great love. Because I do not deserve the blessings He has poored out on me, but because He is so great and loving He does it anyway. I was sitting in a home not just a house listening to 2 healthy beautiful smart girls play. I had another beautiful smart and healthy one asleep. And a husband who takes living with 5 females (yes the dog is too) all in stride and keeps us laughing. My husband is an awesome provider and likes to think he is in charge, but seriously how can he be with all us girls. I am healthy, able to work, can think for myself and have the freedom to choose how I should live my life. Man what more can I ask for.
And then again last night it happened again. Zoey had been sick most of the day, but was finally not filling her britches every ten minutes by the time we laid her down for bed. Then the 2 oldest got a little hyper around bed time and we all just piled on Dad and beat him up and wrestled with each other and laughed and screamed with delight. Sometimes it is beyond me how God is so loving to a sinner like me, but I guess that says something about His character not mine. I can't remember where I heard or read it but I remember something about somebody saying that the life we have says nothing about us, but rather all about God and his grace. I think it was a Pastor James sermon. Amy help me out on this one.
Anyway, tonight is New Year's Eve and we have kind of a running tradition in this house now. We just all hang out here, I take on my friend's teenage daughter, and we watch chick flicks, eat, and toast with our sparkling grape juice at midnight. I think the plans tonight are to watch Ratatuille (sp. I'm sure), and Bring it On 3. We may even get to watch Hairspray too. We will eat lots of good food, I think maybe do nails...Caleb always looks good with pink polish...hehehe. And then toast in the new year. And of course tomorrow Illini play at 3:30, so we will be parked in front of a TV for the afternoon. I never knew I liked football so much.
Well that should do it for now, hope you all enjoyed reading this tremendously long blog!

Change

Two nights ago I read another chapter in Pastor James' book about how to change. I must admit that I really didn't want to. This book has been a tough one for me to get through. I've had to face a lot of nasty truths about myself that I have buried for so long. I am just a sinner after all. This does not excuse me to keep on sinning because I know of God's grace. But rather it is a reason for me to turn from sin. The first few chapters of the book were especially tough because they point out what I have been doing wrong for so many years and the fact that I cannot do it on my own. So you can understand my hesitation to read yet another chapter. But after reading chapter 5, I was very encouraged. A weight was lifted from my shoulders when I finished reading and answered my questions at the end of the chapter. I have been trying for so long to end my own slavery to sin. A silly thing I realized when I read this chapter, because Pastor James pointed out that Christ has already done the dirty work (i.e. dying on the cross a miserable death) to release his followers from that bondage. My job is actually quite simple, make the right choice. Christ has released me from the slavery of sin, and I can now live knowing that I do not have to do what He has already done. This does not excuse me to just keep on sinning because God has grace enough to forgive me. It should however be a result of my relationship with Him. The more I put into the relationship, the more my life will change. After all if I do not make an effort to live for Him and with Him, how do I expect Him to show me what to change let alone how to change it. God is great and I am excited about a renewed energy to live for Him.
Well I will sign off with saying this Christmas season I hope everyone remembers what it is really all about and shows compassion and grace to all they come in contact with just as Christ did by leaving His wonderful throne in Heaven to walk with us sinners on December 25th, some 2000 years ago. What love for us He has! Praise Him!

Vesicouretal Reflux

So we went for the nasty test on Friday to see if Sesleigh has vesicouretal reflux. It is a genetic disorder that she will hopefully grow out of. The x-ray showed that she has a mild case of it. They grade the disease on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being the mildest and five being the most severe case. On the right side of her bladder/kidneys/ureters she has a 2. This means that when she goes to the bathroom and the bladder contracts to empty it out, the valve that is supposed to shut to keep the urine from going back up doesn't close all the way. So urine is going back up into the kidneys, but fortunately is not filling the kidney enough to make it dilate. On the left side she has a 1, which means that the urine is going back up the tube, but is not reaching the kidney. This is a blessing because it could be much worse and could require surgery, but instead she will be on a daily antibiotic for a year (to basically prevent the stagnant urine from causing infections). She has to go do a flow study to make sure that there are no other underlying conditions. They are thinking that as she gets older and more developed the muscles that open and close the valves will get stronger and her body will fix this problem on its own.
But enough about that. We have been inside all weekend with the nastiness going on outside. But we have been baking and baking and doing some more baking. I have made about 300 cookies so far, and I still have my chocalate covered pretzels to go and another batch of cookies to go! I love to make cookies for the holidays. I think I will try pumpkin bread today too. Caleb was trying to do some baking yesterday and didn't have much luck and pumpkin bread is his favorite so maybe I'll cheer him up a bit. I cannot believe that there are only 2 more weeks till Christmas! I have a bit more shopping to do but nothing too serious. We are trying to not spend so much so we are not buying for as many people and the ones we are buying for we have set a limit to ( a very low one at that). We really have our goals focused on paying everything off by the end of next year. Then paying for a family vacation to somewhere really cool that the girls would enjoy. But anywho, I better get off here and get my cookies out of the oven.

The Holiday Month

The month between Thanksgiving and Christmas has always been a rough time for me. Satan attacks from every angle and I tend to fall into the trap more often during this month. I'm not real sure why, it's just always been a pattern for me. Last night was a night full of bad choices for me. So this morning after church we came home and I dumped out all the liqour in this house. The bad thing was that most of it was stuff others had brought over and left here. But I told Caleb that this house needs to be a dry house from now on. It's senseless to leave the stuff here when it is one of the tools Satan uses against me. I just feel a little lost right now and very vulnerable because I love my friends very much, but the friends that I feel closest to are not going to hold me accountable and be available when I'm feeling tempted in the worst way. And I know there are people who read this blog that would be willing to be there and hold me accountable, but how do I open up when that's not really the type of person I am. How to I make the transition? How do I open up? How do I get over my fears? How do I make different choices? How do I stand up to the ones closest to me? I ask all these questions and I know where the answer lies.
Anyway on a lighter note, Ron preached about doubt this morning. Doubting about the events of the Christmas story, and he used a line from Miracle on 34th Street. He gave a great sermon, but there was one part that made me think of a movie that we used to have to watch 4 or 5 times a day for months on end. The Santa Clause with Tim Allen in it. I know this movie is based on Santa, but the little boy in the movie drops lines all over the place leading to answers to doubts about Christ. At one point in the movie Charlie (the little boy) is talking with his step father and his step father says, "Well Charlie how do you know Santa is real and the north pole and the elves. I've never seen it." Charlie, being the smart 7-year-old that he is, says, "Have you ever seen a million dollars? Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not real." Then later on in the movie Charlie tells his dad (who is on his way to transforming into the big S.C.) "Dad remember what the elves said seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing."
Ron stated the first part of this today. Our society is so set on the fact that we have to see in order to believe. But in all reality the opposite is true with God. You don't have to see God in order to believe in Him. You have to believe in Him in order to see Him. I mean He is all around and in all my brokenness this morning, I felt His presence as strong as ever today. He has rocked me and held me today, He has convicted me, He has led me, He has comforted me, He has blessed me and this is just all today. So for any of you that are or may know a "doubting Thomas" just ask them about other things they have faith in and cannot see (gravity, air, a million dollars!)