I'll start by sharing my exciting news from last week. On Thursday (Lincoln's birthday) my family went down to Springfield. No we did not get to go see Obama. We went to the old state capital to watch my step dad get sworn in as a U.S. citizen. He took his oath with his granddaughters watching and snapping pictures. It was pretty amazing. An experience most do not get to witness for someone so close. One thing that really got me was in front of my stepdad was an elderly gentleman. This man had the walker and the oxygen tank and a face that has seen a lot in his days. He got to take his oath and he will die a citizen of the U.S. I just made up my own story for him in my head. About how this has been his dream since he was a young man coming from Europe through Ellis Island. And he finally got to achieve near the end of his life. There was a lot of hype about the President being in Springfield on that day, but for our family it was much more special than that.
With that said, I will talk about the next season in my life. I feel as if things are stirring for a storm that will bring about a change. I know God has a plan for me and my job is to be still and listen. I have made contact with an old friend that I haven't spoken to for about 4 years. I thought we were on bad terms but it was a glorious reunion. God gets all the credit for making me have the urge to call today. Although finding her was awesome, I feel as though I'm losing old friends. We have all changed so much in the past 3 years, and I don't feel like we can connect on any common ground. My husband listened to me but he doesn't get why I need that extra female companionship in my life. He thinks that he just needs to release his thoughts to me and no one else. But I need another woman's point of view sometimes. I don't let people in very easily and I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve so this is big for me even to be writing about. But I kinda feel lost right now with no confidante that gets me and truly will let me unload on them when I need to. I don't want someone that I just go to with my problems and she comes to me with hers and we give advice. That's not exactly what I mean. I can't even explain it. Maybe I'm just over analyzing, or maybe it's just hormones, or maybe I'm crazy. But I think that most women have that one person that just gets it that is not her spouse. Am I nuts or what. Don't you need someone besides just your spouse to talk to or is that supposed to be sufficient. I've been talking to God today asking for some help, but all I get is to just wait for the storm to pass.
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3 comments:
no you're not nuts. i've found that friendships change as life circumstances change. i've also noticed i tend to have friends with kids in the same stages of life. finding a friend in the same place spiritually changes friendships a bit too... just keep your eyes open. God may have someone right in front of you looking for the kind of friendship that you can offer. i can attest that you are a great friend!
i just wanted to let u know that i had a great time talkin today and hangin out... i know you are going threw stuff in your life that its hard to talk about but always remember im here whenever you need me for anything... it will get better and whatever you need to do to get threw your issues with whatever you need to do what you have to do for your family... love ya all....
You need girl friend and he needs guy friends. It is a very modern idea that marriage love and God's love is the only love we need. You should read The Four Loves by CS Lewis...so good. He reminds us in that book that we need people to rehash life with and spur us on to make good choices...better choices sometimes. I pray for Brian's friends even more than my own friends for that reason....I'll pray for this for you.....keep leaning in and fighting the good fight. I pray this about my friendships..."that my walls will be more like fences." It is from a song I love by Sara Groves.
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